I hurt for you
The sadness I see beneath your smile
The hollow ring of your laughter
The unending activity that shows me you are trying too hard
The unceasing quest for fun that tells me loneliness is killing you
It breaks me
I really hurt for you
I almost understand the pain that holds you
The despair that keeps you struggling to maintain a façade of happiness
I hurt more for you when you start professing not to care
Every word you say emphasizes how much you care
Every profession of indifference is an indication of how much pain you feel
I feel your pain, I feel your grief
I wish you did not suffer so much or try so hard to conceal your suffering
I look into your eyes and all I see is pain
Pain so clear, it announces itself without words
I hurt terribly for you, I hurt more with each attempt you make to conceal your pain
My close friend Ody was jilted at the altar, well since she’s not the groom I should say jilted at the church foyer. I had never seen it happen before, things like that only existed in Sex and the City movies and of course it always ended happily ever after. Imagine my shock when my friend Ody was jilted! We definitely didn’t see it coming. Ody and her intended husband had disagreements like every normal couple and they always resolved it, days to their wedding, they were still disagreeing over mundane things like the décor, the food vendor’s menu and the songs to be played at the wedding, never anything serious, definitely nothing to warrant calling of a wedding that had been planned for months.
Ody spoke to her Groom in the morning, the day before her wedding, reflecting now, she says he sounded a bit odd, but at the time she didn’t think there was a problem. She didn’t have time to speak with him again for the rest of the day, she did try to call him later but she got Bestman and he assured her that Groom was fine but unable to come to the phone. He hurried off the phone, according to him to attend to Groom and said we would all see at church the next morning.
11:00am Saturday morning we waited for Groom, of course we were a bit surprised we got there before him but we thought nothing of waiting for him for a while. We got worried by 11:30, we started dialing his number frantically by that same time, friends were dialing him, his family too. When he didn’t show up by 12:00pm, Ody immediately fell sick, her gown stifled her, the “heat” in the air-conditioned church foyer stifled her, still we waited. It was a bad movie unfolding before our eyes, Groom never picked his phone, Bestman’s phone stopped ringing, still we waited, I prayed while I waited. The guests started to leave, none took leave off us, they just quietly went away, they probably didn’t want to rub in our shame, in the end Ody, her bridesmaids (me inclusive) and her family were the only ones left, by then Ody was nearly dead! She wasn’t even aware when we dragged her to the car and took her back to the hotel, I don’t think she was aware of anything for days. Groom never called, he didn’t call to apologize, he still hasn’t. Ody never cried, just stared into space, it was scary.
She surfaced after a while, she really came out with a bang. She partied endlessly, she was the life of every party, her laughter rang out clearly, she seemed not to care that she had been jilted just scant months before, it seemed like she rushed back from the brink of insanity and embraced life with renewed zest. People hailed her for her strength, her family thanked God for preserving her sanity and her heart, her friends felt comfortable around her. All seemed normal. But I looked into her eyes, past the façade, straight to her heart and I saw the heartbreaking pain and hurt that would never heal.