And you ran and came and clicked, expecting to see what? How to become Linda Ikeji? So that you also, can buy a multi-million naira mansion at Ikoyi, right? That is the problem with people; you want to learn how to run a successful blog from someone who is not presently running a successful blog! What can I possibly have to teach you?
I am sure you also clicked because you saw 5 tips and you thought to yourself “wow! Just 5 quick tips to Croesus world? ”. Is life really that easy? If they were 5 simple tips, everybody would do it. Anyway, I won’t blame you too much; blog posts that start off with 5 steps, 7 ways, or 10 tips are usually stats boosters. Now let that be your first lesson!
1. Tips and advice will always get clicks – If you don’t have access to regular gossip to put on your blog, the thing fit die sharp sharp, while you struggle to rise to SDK or LIB standards, publish tips and advice over and over again. If you focus on love, sex, marriage, relationship, and weddings, your stats will forever be on the rise. So post things like “5 ways to know when a man is a player”, “10 steps to make him crazy about you” or “7 tips to build a healthy relationship.” You might think money topics will sell but trust me, online, money does not sell. Headlines that scream “5 easy ways to make money” might get you blocked, you fit be scammer or thief. Don’t cry if you write about money and nobody is clicking
Tip number 2
2. Post a lot! – This advice is genuine! No jokes. Posts, attract people and people naturally move in the direction of the gist so don’t stop posting. Give tips as many times as you can, re-blog other people’s posts if you want to, out-rightly steal the story if you have to but don’t let your blog go dry and gistless. Every time a visitor clicks that link, let there be something new! Social media is a strong communication tool these days so biko repost on twitter, repost on Facebook, repost on instagram and googleplus. Post! Post! Post!
Where the people go, the marketers follow, where the marketers follow, money exchanges hands!
For all the classy, sensible would-be bloggers out there, get off your high horse!
3. Get off your high horse – words like professionalism, ethics, wrong and right don’t drive traffic. Unless you are Bellanaija who has managed to keep it very clean over the years and develop into a business with visible partnerships and a clean brand, you need to stop being snooty and fussy! If a celebrity sleeps with a girl and you have got pictures, please put it up. If people die in a car crash, take close-up pictures of their bodies dripping with blood and put it up. If there is no story at all at all and you see a politician entering a restaurant with a babe, take their pictures immediately, cook up something or write a speculative article and post it immediately. Something that reads like, “Could this be Fani Kayode’s wife number 10?”
You don’t have a troubling problem; it is the general public who crave these gists that have a worrisome problem. They would speculate over these things themselves so get on it and do it for your blog. Speculate biko, put some gossip as well.
Because I know you are impatient, I will add this tip.
4. Give it time – You need to establish yourself as a mean poster, the blog with the juiciest gists, before money starts to come. It might take a while, it won’t happen at once. So wait for it, while you wait, repeat all the steps listed above very faithfully. I know you are desperate for money, I am too but chill… it will come!
And if everything else fails,
5. Stir up controversy – this is easy to do, attack the big bloggers, attack the bloggers with traffic. When a celebrity says something, write a letter of response to the person – Cynthia Morgan vs. Caroline Ekanem, chook your mouth there! When Mr. Murray-Bruce requests something largely utopian from Buhari, take him to task immediately and cook up a story about his poor treatment of Silverbird staff. This is social/new media, on it, people hardly ever get charged to court and this is Nigeria especially, some bitter soul somewhere will believe wicked things about others simply because he is naturally bitter!
So there, you have it! Five tips to run a successful blog. All that is left, is the doing! Do not be deceived, no matter how much of a joke this article might seem to you, it has been tried and it has been tested! It works!
I am a failed blogger myself and I am taking this advice to heart and putting it to test. Which step am I on? I leave you to judge!